Monday 21 May 2012

Feeling like an Ugly Rabbit....

Image from radikalchick.com

Yeah...Of late, I am feeling like the picture above, a bit down and a little unmotivated. Why, you may ask?

Well, many of you may have read that my eczema came back again and unfortunately, at this time of writing, I am still having it and undergoing an alternative treatment currently. ( Will share about it later )

Before seeking the alternative treatment, I was just relying on my antihistamine, which at best, inhabits the itchiness but does nothing to heal it. I know eczema takes a long period to heal but I think after having this for 2 months basically makes me throw in the towel and look for another treatment.

In this post, I am just going to share how I was feeling during these 2 months...



My eczema around my mouth can get really bad at times if I ate something wrong or if it get inflamed. It can get really itchy and the mouth area will be terribly dry and looked crusty. It will then proceed to extensive peeling and no amount of oils or balms can help to moisturized the area. The only thing to rid the dry flaky skin is through exfoliation ( which I do not recommend ).

Not only the flaky skin looks bad already, my entire radius of my mouth went inflamed and red! The redness is very, very obvious because I have fair skin. In short, I look like this.

Image from venkman-project.deviantart.com

Feeling self-conscious

During the 2 months, I have a fair share of experience of people, looking at me in a weird way. I could see that their eyes were immediately drawn to my mouth. Not that it looked sexy, just that the redness makes it look as though I have big fat lips, just like above. 

I was feeling so self-conscious that at one time, I refrain from going to public areas. I had my lunch and dinner at home and I didn't even want to go out to see my friends or even to wedding dinners! Even if stopped going to public areas, I didn't stop going to church. Church is a home to me!

Motivation at the low...

During that time, I wasn't motivated at all even to wear make-up and went au-natural. I was not even bothered to do my mask or adding additional serums because I still looked terrible anyway. I stopped going to facials because I dislike therapist telling me how bad my skin condition is. Even new skin products didn't seem to appeal to me anymore.

However...

I know, it all sounds depressing and looked as though I need to see a psychiatrist, right? No worries, I haven't reach that stage yet and will not reach that stage. 

I am glad that it was a short term phase that I went through and by God's grace, quickly snapped out of it. I will not allow all these low feelings dominate me, it is not worth it. Here, I leave you with some versus that helped me to overcome the unhappy feelings.

" The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart" 1 Sam 16: 7

"A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit." Proverbs 15:13

Left me wondering, have any of you felt miserable with some bad experience?

8 comments:

  1. Hi, certainly know how you feel. My first bout of eczema was diagnosed with the wrong medicine. Orginally meant for ulcers, the GP gave it to me for my eczema that occurs round the lips, making it worse - red, inflamed, dry, scaly and swollen. I walked around with sausage lips for that week. A colleague teased me by saying that i should have stop my hubby from being too passionate. A dermatologist solve my eczema though it still comes once in a blue moon. Have you been to a dermatologist? If not, i can recommend you mine but he doesnt have a good attitude. Just be warned. Cocky and overconfident. Lol. Take care.

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    1. Hi Agnes! Gosh, what an awful mistake from the doc. Guess that will be the last visit. Haha...I got the same reply from friends too about 'passionate'.:P
      At this moment, I am seeking an alternative treatment, which helped me loads! Thanks for recommending though!

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  2. Wow...I didn't know this is so bad. So sorry you have to go through this.

    Have you heard of California Baby (http://www.californiababy.com/)? I have read a lot about this brand for eczema. Let me know if you want to try something from them and if you cannot find it in M'sia, I will get it for you over here. I am actually using the baby wash instead of regular bar soap. The wash is very very moisturizing even on my face.

    And yes, I do have bouts of feeling super low and depressed, not due to how I look, but it's the emotional roller-coaster I have to live with.

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    1. Hi Dawn! Yeah, but funnily, I don't even know what caused it. Guess it has to do with something internal since western meds didn't help much. Yeah, have heard of California Baby and no worries, I can get it from iherb. Thanks for your offer!:) At this moment, been using sls free washes for my face and so far, so good.

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  3. sorry to hear that the eczema strike has been so bad :(

    I don't have eczema but i have been battling with angry pimples that popped non stop! I can totally understand how you feel, because I too feel very self conscious about these pimples all over my face. It's also tiring having to try every single possible product out there and finding no solution. i really wish there is a miracle for all these skin problems

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    1. Hi Xin! Thanks for your concern and yeah, at this time of writing, I've seen healing on my affected area..thanks to my alternative treatment. I will share it later in my post becos..I am definitely seeing positive results!
      Sorry to hear about your pimples problem and I knw, it is frustrating to find out what causes it and you really want to find a ASAP solution. I think most break outs is likely to be caused by something internal, rather than external, cos products don't seemed to work.:(

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  4. Hi, I had acne and I know how you feel. Mine was really bad, the cystic type, and it hurts all the more as ladies are more self-conscious, but God has been gracious to me and the acne is no more, though there are scars. But I'm just thankful that He has seen me through that phase and 1 Sam 16:7 has encouraged me to look to Him who looks at me like that. I'm encouraged that there's people, myorganicjourney, who delight and draw strength from scriptures even here in our tanah air :) ~Kay

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    1. Hi Kay! Thanks for sharing and indeed God is gracious and great too! His words keep us focused on Him entirely, despite the circumstances which we are in.

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